Sometimes Microsoft rocks!
Ever
since I used two 5.25-inch floppy disks to load and OEM MS DOS 3.1 onto my AT
to support its spanking-new 20 Mb Seagate hard drive (most of my colleagues
were still using floppy-only XTs) I became a devout "Gates grumbler".
In
those days, computer users were even more of a subculture than today, so to get
by in Geeksville, you needed to interface using the correct protocols. Unless
you were SysOp of a BBS – accessed with a 1200-Baud modem – you were nobody;
you subscribed to the prevailing culture of “copy anarchy” and, unless you were
a dyed-in-the-wool Apple bunny, you grumbled about Gates and Microsoft.
Admittedly,
a lot of it was simple indignation at being so utterly dependent on a supplier
(there were occasional short-lived and feeble flashes in the pan of competition
e.g. DR-DOS) that was fast becoming all-powerful. Also, as Gates was the Grand
High Lama, Pontifex Maximus and Jedi Master of Geeks, there were probably also
a fair number who envied his pocket-liner even more than his pocketbook.
But of
course, with even the most powerful software of the day fitting on a few 640k
floppies, software copying was rife and the term “piracy” hadn’t even entered
the public consciousness.
These
days, the first and last word that passes a “real Geek’s” lips is Unix, but for
us mere mortals, many of that post-hippie floppy disk generation just never
developed a pay-for-legal-software ethic, so it’s not surprising that anno
2011, when broadband allows you to download gigabytes of powerful software via
bit-torrent in minutes, most legitimately purchased software still make us jump
through all kinds of hoops to “validate” it during or after installation.
So, in
the case of the last few editions of Windows, you have either had to fill in a
“product key” upon installation, or had (as in the case of Windows 7) a
“validation window”. Install a copy and it will work fine for a few weeks, but
then you’ll suddenly encounter a black wallpaper with a message (that pops up
increasingly frequently) informing you that you might be a “victim of software
counterfeiting”, and a permanent message at the bottom of the screen informing
you (and anyone looking over your shoulder at a business meeting) that “this
copy of Windows is not genuine”.
Even if
your installationsinitially validates successfully, Windows re-checks this
validation regularly when downloading the important (no almost weekly) security and software
updates that are necessary to keep your PC running smoothly. If in the
meantime, Microsoft has discovered that the product key you used was sold
illegally, they can block it. Next time you update, validation fails and get
the black screen, and reduced functionality.
This
“validation window”, while very user-friendly, unfortunately also opens a
window to the unscrupulous. It’s no surprise that with today’s technology,
anyone from a sweatshop in Russia, Nigeria or Southeast Asia to a guy with a
garage in Glasgow can churn out endless packages of software that are virtually
indiscernible from the real thing to anyone but an expert, even if you tick all
the boxes suggested on the Microsoft site “how to tell” http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/howtotell/Software.aspx#Packaging.
Problem
is that if you happen to buy one of these very professional imitations (not to
mention the obvious copies you can find on sale the world over), albeit in good
faith, it will usually install faultlessly. The genuine-looking product key on
the licence certificate might even pass first validation. That could be because
it’s a derivation of an OEM dealer licence, and it might take Microsoft a while
to realise that the licence is being sold fraudulently and block it. But block
it they will.
By now
– you can be sure that you are one of many victims – the seller has been
banished from eBay, PayPal etc. and disappeared with the morning dew (and your
money).
My
first response was to call “customer support” at Microsoft in the Netherlands
where I live. After not too long, my call was answered. I was told that I had
been sold an “XYX” licence instead of an “ABC” licence (the exact three-letter
abbreviations escape me) and all I could do was revert to the seller.
Now,
having trawled various online forums, had read about a system whereby if you
have inadvertently bought fake Microsoft software, you could submit it to
Microsoft and they would replace it with the real thing.
I asked
the guy on the other end of the line about it, and he informed me that I was
misinformed, and that the system didn’t exist and I should “revert to the
seller”. If I didn’t like it, I could send a complaint by e-mail. By now, I was
oozing cynicism.
I tried
to “revert to the seller”, but too much time had elapsed. The seller, who had
apparently had sold several hundred of the “genuine retail package” has had his
account erased by eBay, and PayPal couldn’t help me either.
Fact is
that I’ve lived in the Netherlands for far too long to take anything anyone on
a call centre line tells me at face value, so I dug a bit deeper (in parts of
the Microsoft site I should have looked in before).“Gates Grumbling” is de
rigeur on Internet forums, and one poster even asked whether it was “a scam”
‘cause it sounded too good to be true.
Well,
it isn’t.
And
from that moment, it’s been refreshingly plain sailing. You fill-in a simple
“counterfeit report”, of which one copy is e-mailed to Microsoft and the other
to you. You print out the report, (you receive a confirmation e-mail
immediately) bung it in a padded envelope along with the offending software and
proof of purchase, and send it off to Ireland.
“Yea, right”,
I hear you say. And I must admit, when I watched those three envelopes
disappear into the machinations of the Post Office, I resigned myself to the
distinct possibility that it would be the last I’d see or hear of them.
Well,
it wasn’t.
About
10 days later, I received automated e-mails that the “evidence of Ref: XYZ had
arrived at Microsoft”. Less than 24 hours later, I received three more e-mails
notifying me that in all three cases, I had been deemed to qualify for a “Get
Genuine Online Kit”. Less than a week later, the first Kit – complete 32-bit
and 64-bit genuine DVDs with a genuine legal Microsoft licence arrived.
So,
first kudos to Microsoft – Try sending the fake Rolex, Mont Blanc, iPhone or
Nike product you bought via eBay to the manufacturers. You think they’ll exchange it
for a real one? Not likely.
Then I
had some questions about delivery (their courier is allergic to PO Box
addresses which, in all honesty, I’d favoured just in case it was a scam) and I
e-mailed Microsoft Direct Services, whose address was on the envelope of the
original kit.
I have
subsequently had a short correspondence with a service agent that has been an
eye-opener. Accurate, succinct, efficient and keeping me informed at every
stage. The second kit arrived two days ago, and the last one is securely in the
pipeline.
Now I
have to admit that with my background as a reviewer of all manner of things,
but especially the hospitality industry, I can become a very difficult customer
when I feel I’m receiving substandard service, and I’m never shy to complain.
The
other side of the coin, to give your critiques and complaints any weight at
all, must be to give gold stars where gold stars are due. And when it comes to
their Get Genuine Online program – and the superb customer service attached –
Microsoft deserve one.
So big
deal. Now I gave the genuine software I thought I was buying in the first
place. But it’s more than that. It’s a new (I cannot say “renewed” ‘cause I was
an unrepentant Microsoft cynic) feeling of confidence I have as a consumer in
the Microsoft brand. That if I buy a Microsoft product in good faith, and it
turns out to be a fake, Microsoft is prepared to replace it for free in defence
of that brand. Ok, they can afford to, but on the scale of swings and
roundabouts, the strategy rocks. Branders: Look and learn. – AMB
